nihilum aeternum

I write to you not as a forlorn or jilted lover
Not as a wounded, frightened child yearning for his mother
But rather, now, as your father
And once I've expended my paternal inclinations
Providing you with the necessary reassuring comfort of steadfast
Support and understanding
Then I will be with you as a fellow traveler
Unencumbered by personal undercurrents of yearning and
Deprivation,
Nonattached to any outcome
I will reside, simply, in the Present
Appreciative of my own breath, aware of its rhythm
Like waves on the shore
Or the tide flooding redolent flats
And ebbing out muddy marsh channels
Breeding mosquitoes
While eager gulls crying overhead bombard the macadam road
With mussels
From golden sunup to panoramic outrages of splashy orange dusks
Stilled only by the self-declarative, high-pitched emergence of the Evening Star.
My gaze upon you will be as upon the rose or soft candle flame
And when I ask, “Why?” I will answer by chanting to myself
“Asking… asking… asking…”
In the flood of my emptiness and your lingering fragrance
I will know not to ask for what you cannot give
And in the naming of my emptiness
I will die to my seeking
And be born again into infinite nothingness
And this Nihilum Aeternum shall be called God
And because “I” am gone
This shall be called Enlightenment or Universal Consciousness
Yet should I return
My name shall be Om (Ol' Hard-on Gone Limp)
And soon enough
It will be finished.
But for now, my child, smile upon the void
I encourage you
Do not be afraid
Know that you are good and worthy
Do not worry
And be happy
I am soaring to the Moon and beyond.